


No Voice, Dry Throat

by ihaveacleverfandomurl



Series: All The Voices [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Langst, garrison trio is bae, nonbinary pidge, this just devolves into tears and bonding time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaveacleverfandomurl/pseuds/ihaveacleverfandomurl
Summary: It’s stupid and selfish to feel jealous of his friends. They’re fucking amazing people who deserve whatever good luck the world throws at them, especially when they’ve worked as hard as they have to get it. When they’re so talented and caring and important.It’s really, really selfish, and he doesn’t want to say that he’s feeling hopeless and helpless and futureless when he just wants to applaud their having all of these things from the sidelines. They deserve a cheerleader, not the dead weight of a deadbeat friend whining about “hardships.”Lance can’t call himself open with his feelings. He’d much prefer to joke his way out of a serious situation than deal with the fact that he feels stupidly inadequate next to his wonderful, accomplished friends. So trying to tell them isn’t exactly set to go well.





	No Voice, Dry Throat

**Author's Note:**

> Accompanying oneshot to [All The Voices Seem To Fade When You Are Here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10979442). Recommended to read at least to chapter 9 in the main story before reading this for context!  
> I guess you KINDA don't have to you just have to know Lance is being his sweet small insecure self as usual. The scene itself takes place during chapter 11.  
> It's also not 100% necessary in the series plotline, but...y'know...i'd love it if you read it  
> tw: brief depression mention

Lance can’t speak. It’s probably because of what feels like a giant fricking dry lump the size of a golf ball in his throat. Maybe the cold sweat breaking out all over his body, his palms that he keeps on having to nervously wipe on his jeans. The sick adrenaline that’s pounding through him as he tries and fails again to meet even one pair of his two friends’ eyes.

“What’s wrong, bud?”

Good old Hunk. A heavy, warm, reassuring hand on his shoulder. He smells like cookies. Hell, maybe he even brought some. That would be a Hunk thing to do. After all, it isn’t every day Lance texts him and Pidge that he wants to talk about something important.

He’s always all about the surface level shit. He likes to play it safe and goofy. He’s good at that, kind of. It’s maybe the one thing he’s good at. But digging deep, nah, you couldn’t catch Lance McClain prodding that with a ten foot pole.

Normally.

Normally, he wouldn’t spill his guts to emo assholes with stupidly, weirdly kind of cute mullets. Normally, he’d accept his class clown hat and wear it with pride and ignore whatever dumb shitstorm was going on beneath that hat.

But Keith, apparently, has a way of making Lance feel all wrong-side up and turned around in the oddest way, a way that tells Lance he can trust him, he _knows_ Keith won’t echo the loop in his head of how he needs to shut the hell up and suck it up, that he’s self-centered and dumb.

It’s stupid and selfish to feel jealous of his friends. They’re fucking amazing people who deserve whatever good luck the world throws at them, especially when they’ve worked as hard as they have to get it. When they’re so talented and caring and important.

It’s really, really selfish, and he doesn’t want to say that he’s feeling hopeless and helpless and futureless when he just wants to applaud their having all of these things from the sidelines. They deserve a cheerleader, not the dead weight of a deadbeat friend whining about “hardships.”

“Lance?” Pidge prompts him, and Lance jumps guiltily, but their eyes are carefully trained on him, pinched with worry he can’t really recall seeing on their face before. He doesn’t like it, he wants Pidge back to banter with.

Keith....Keith had told him he needed to tell them.

“Let me make you guys some drinks, yeah? We can talk over drinks.” He  grins weakly. Anything to delay.

“Lance.” The big Hunk hand on his arm now. Lance swallows. His eyes are burning.

“I, um, uh...fuck. So, I haven’t been at my best recently.” He tries to float it, a throwaway tone to toss the words out with, like he’s about to tell a punchline – only the punchline is crippling depression and self-loathing. Ha ha, hilarious.

He pauses, waiting for Pidge or Hunk to interrupt with anything, an answering joke hopefully. But even Pidge sits stock still, eyes wide in their small face, no witty mockery forthcoming. Hunk is frozen too. Together, they look like they’re trying not to frighten a wild animal into flight.

Shit. Lance scrubs his hand through his hair.

“I guess I, uh, haven’t really been for a while, you know? I’ve...been kind of useless. You guys are out there doing things, changing the world, forging your futures and all that, and I’m a bit...well. I’m not really doing anything, going anywhere. I don’t really have a future. Because I’m me. Yeah?”

Helplessly, he twists his shirt hem between his fingers, eyes darting between his two friends, barely catching their expressions before it’s back to the floor with his gaze. Hunk looked like he was about to cry, Pidge speechless.

“And, um, Keith made me realize that I think...I think I’m getting left behind, and it kinda hurts, but I mean, it’s okay! I get it! I’d leave me behind too, but he also just told me that I should tell you, and I really didn’t want to, and now I feel awful and Hunk oh please don’t!”

Because Hunk had just let out a tremendous sob and now Lance is biting back his own, and Pidge’s eyes are glistening, and suddenly there are two people piling on top of Lance, and it hurts, but he doesn’t really care.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Lance, you little shit.” Pidge is half-squished between Hunk’s belly and Lance’s chest, and beats miserably at Lance’s arm, sniffling, before shoving their head into Lance’s shoulder, glasses sharp and cool against his neck. “We never meant that!”

“Laa-aaance,” Hunk blubbers, his arms wrapping tight and warm around both Pidge and Lance. “I’m sorryyyy!”

“You _are_ an idiot,” Pidge declares, head popping back up and out of the embrace to glare at Lance. “Because you think that about yourself. _That’s_ idiotic.”

“We love you,” Hunk cries. “So much.”

Lance feels a smile breaking through the wetness on his cheeks. “Yeah?”

Pidge growls. “Fuck, Lance, yeah, what’s not to love? We tease you, I’ll call you out sometimes, but you’re our best fucking friend! One of the greatest people I know. You don’t have a future? Listen, get that cast off and I’ll drag you to wherever the hell you want to go and play your reference myself for your future, which is going to be _great_ because it’s _you_ and _you’re great_ and people who don’t see that in you are just _stupid_. I think between me and Hunk, we can be very persuasive. I’ll be the small unassuming kid that’ll rip throats out if they think you’re not good enough and Hunk can pretend to be very scary and back us up with cookies on breaks between interviews.” They twist to get support from Hunk, who nods vigorously, before they turn back to Lance. “What do you want to do?”

“I...I don’t know,” Lance admits.

“Well, figure it out!” Pidge flicks his forehead. Lance rubs at the spot.

Pidge smiles then and falls back into hugging him and Hunk squeezes them tighter and Lance thinks as he wraps his own arms around his friends that yes, he has the best friends in the world, and maybe it’ll still be a little hard to measure up to just how amazing they are, but...he wants to try. He wants to try to work up to that.

His chest feels a million times lighter, like everything that’s been weighing him down for so long has simply taken flight, and when he starts giggling – from sheer relief, from maybe a bit of hysterics, from how _good_ this feels, Pidge and Hunk join in, and they laugh in each other’s arms, and Lance is being crushed, and his ribs are protesting, and his leg is being jostled painfully.

And Lance is really, really, really goddamn happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you say writing as a coping mechanism??????? ooooo bitch this was a killer to write thx for being a foil-for-me-to-dump-my-shit bro, lance  
> ♥ & thanks for reading frands  
> reminder: if you haven't, [check out the main story in this series here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10979442)!  
> [my creative tumblr](http://kayizcray.tumblr.com) | [my personal tumblr](http://ihaveacleverfandomurl.tumblr.com/)


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